once again having no grammer, and no spelling skills...ladies and gentlemen...Andrew Horrow
ok i was looking at the phillies score(lost to the marlins) and this got me thinking...screw moneyball can the marlins GM write a book?
Look at it here is a team that was trying desperately to tank. They win the world series and get rid of everyone including the man who waters the pitching mound. The idea is we tank...we can move...and then we win. The last part of that equation requires getting young players who need time to develop and will eventually turn into superstars. But somehow in trying not to win in five years they won in 3, the players who were not supposed to mature, matured. They were able to beat Satan and win the world series. The thing that troubles me is, is trying not to win the only way to win? The phillies last year were out of the playoff race and had just had a fire sale, and GM Pat (I am in the AARP with jose valintine) Gillick said we were 3 years out....what happened next you ask, we go on a tear and end up 1 game out. The Florida Marlins were 5 years out...they won the World Series....
The Flyers, Sixers, Phillies, and Eagles have no chance this year they are 15 years out....(now fate do ur duty)
I also really want to know how the Florida Gm does it. Recently i was playing MLB 2k7 carrier mode and tired to be the Marlins with their whopping payroll of 44 million 7th lowest. In my first off season i had to trade willis in order to think about keeping anyone in my infield even when my bankroll increased it was still not possible to win, i want to know how they did it i tried everything...(in 2010 i would quit there take over the Indians and go on to win 5 straight world series before turning off the xbox) HOW FLORIDA HOW???
On a completely other subject i want to rant about Bobby Abreu. There was a recent article on Si.com prising the Flyin Hawian Shane Victorino and his ability to replace Bobby Abreu. The true reason he has been able to do that is because he cares whether his team wins or loses, Abreu is what we call a numbers and money guy. These men only care about their individual numbers and how much they make and not on the teams preformance. These include just in baseball in no order, Abreu, Adrain Beltire, Bonds, A rod, Jeff Kent,sheffield(thanks pat) and Chris Therian(i know he doesnt play baseball but i f*%King hate him, he sucks he should never touch a hockey stick again)
Abreu never hit after the 5th inning, he never hit with runners on, he never did anything productive....as Joe Morgan says "anyone can hit a hr up big, but it takes a special player to hit one in the clutch"
Bobby Abreu you are not a special player you may physically be but when it comes to mental toughness in the clutch you dont have it, you can have it New York, ill take Shane Victorino any day...
Peace y'all im out
Stay Human
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
ROID RAGE
I'M ON ROIDS!!! No really, I am. It seems that my claim of being immune to poison ivy has finally been thrown aside. I most definitely am allergic to poison ivy, oak, sumac, maple tree pollen (yes, I can still eat syrup), and the New York Yankees. So after a night waking up scratching my arms, I broke down and went to the doc's. They prescribed a tasty steroid and not only is my ivy less bothersome but just yesterday I LIFTED AN ENTIRE SCHOOL BUS ABOVE MY HEAD!!! That's right, Barry, I'm coming after you.
Two games into round three of the Sox/Yanks series this summer and we've split the three game set so far. Rubber match tomorrow of the wheeling, dealing, fellow blogger Curt Schilling vs. Andy "Roger-come-play-with-me" Pettite. Last night's game put me in a TV hell. Why would they schedule a nationally broadcast Sox/Yanks game on the same night as the season finale of 24?!?! Are they crazy?!?! And what about that episode? WOW! I'm speechless. The silent clock at the end? Did Jack jump? I can't wait for January. Wait...yes I can.
Back to baseball.
So last night's TV quandry kind of solved itself once the Sox dropped a few runs behind the Yanks. I gave up on flipping back and forth and decided that for my health it would be better to watch Jack Bauer save the world. Then tonight, after creating a sweet new room setup (thanks Mom and Dad) I realize that the game has been on TV and I haven't been watching. It's ok though. We're up 7-2 and we've got Okie-Dokie in the 8th and surely Pap to follow in the 9th. My dad sits down just as I turn it on and Okie is getting ready for his first pitch. Dad happens to say, "We just can't walk anybody." Enter two walks by Okie and Pap each. I also knew that the Yankees commentator (it was being broadcast by the YES! network...what elementary school guidance counselor came up with that name?) pretty much jinxed Okie by saying "Well one more inning and Okajima holds the Red Sox reliever's record for longest scoreless streak." Thanks, pal. Okie gives up one run and Pap comes in and strikes out Jeter on two very borderline pitches to end the game. This almost makes up for A-rod who earlier in the game got a little dirty by throwing elbows at noodle-arm Pedroia. Seriously A-Rod, pick on somebody your own size. I hope Schill wacks him in the ass tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, we all get to say goodbye for one final time to a very special lady. You'll always live on in our hearts, Gran. These words are for you tonight. I love you.
-Flig
Two games into round three of the Sox/Yanks series this summer and we've split the three game set so far. Rubber match tomorrow of the wheeling, dealing, fellow blogger Curt Schilling vs. Andy "Roger-come-play-with-me" Pettite. Last night's game put me in a TV hell. Why would they schedule a nationally broadcast Sox/Yanks game on the same night as the season finale of 24?!?! Are they crazy?!?! And what about that episode? WOW! I'm speechless. The silent clock at the end? Did Jack jump? I can't wait for January. Wait...yes I can.
Back to baseball.
So last night's TV quandry kind of solved itself once the Sox dropped a few runs behind the Yanks. I gave up on flipping back and forth and decided that for my health it would be better to watch Jack Bauer save the world. Then tonight, after creating a sweet new room setup (thanks Mom and Dad) I realize that the game has been on TV and I haven't been watching. It's ok though. We're up 7-2 and we've got Okie-Dokie in the 8th and surely Pap to follow in the 9th. My dad sits down just as I turn it on and Okie is getting ready for his first pitch. Dad happens to say, "We just can't walk anybody." Enter two walks by Okie and Pap each. I also knew that the Yankees commentator (it was being broadcast by the YES! network...what elementary school guidance counselor came up with that name?) pretty much jinxed Okie by saying "Well one more inning and Okajima holds the Red Sox reliever's record for longest scoreless streak." Thanks, pal. Okie gives up one run and Pap comes in and strikes out Jeter on two very borderline pitches to end the game. This almost makes up for A-rod who earlier in the game got a little dirty by throwing elbows at noodle-arm Pedroia. Seriously A-Rod, pick on somebody your own size. I hope Schill wacks him in the ass tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, we all get to say goodbye for one final time to a very special lady. You'll always live on in our hearts, Gran. These words are for you tonight. I love you.
-Flig
Friday, May 18, 2007
Baseball is as baseball does
"What we should have done a long time ago was stand up -- players, ownership, everybody -- and said: 'We made a mistake.'''
These words by Jason Giambi. Whoever would have thought the Giambino would turn into the moral compass of the MLB. It is about time that the entire system comes out and says what happened was wrong. I know that not everyone took steroids. I know that it wasn't being handed out by the ownership. And I also know that as a fan I'm complicit in these shenanigans as well. I cheered Mark McGwire when he stepped up to the plate. Two vivid memories stick in my mind involving McGwire's home run chase and subsequent fall from grace.
1. I was watching the game with my parents. Cubbies and Cards and Marky Mark was at 61 homers. Early in the game and despite my valiant protests my mom insisted I take a shower. I told her that she better yell if McGwire comes to the plate. Just as I put the shampoo in my hair I heard a frantic yell, and so I got to watch McGwire's first AB which didn't yield the record breaking home run. I finished my shower and continued watching the game with the folks. I got to see the record breaker sitting on the couch with my dad, clean, by virtue of my mother. Thanks mom.
2. The day of the baseball steroids hearing on Capital Hill I was (conveniently) sick and had to stay home from school. So I sat there and watched what I thought were four heroes (Schilling, Palmeiro, McGwire, and Sosa) and one goat (Canseco) talk about steroids in baseball. Sammy forgot how to speak English (which led to a hilarious skit on SNL that week involving Keenan Thompson), Schilling was his usual political self (the guy's surely gonna run for office some day and I'm just glad he's a Republican so I don't have to find a way to rationalize voting for him other than the bloody sock), Palmeiro was waving fingers, Canseco loved to hear himself speak (which fit well with many of the people facing him behind the nice wooden desk), and then there was McGwire. And Mark refused "to talk about the past." Here's the guy who saved baseball. The guy I watched all summer chasing Slammin' Sammy. The guy was as heroic as a sports figure could be, and it crushed my heart.
The homers of the "steroid years" sucked me in as much as any other, but that doesn't make it right. Giambi is a better man for saying what he said knowing that it could lead to a suspension. Although knowing Giambi I doubt he would have admitted his use if he had indeed used steroids since 05. I'd like to hear more players come out and say the same. I won't hold it against them. As a fan, I'd appreciate their honesty. I'm ok with talking about the past.
But on a lighter side of things...
My Sox were rained out tonight. This means I'm relegated to watching one of the less obvious rivalry interleague matchups in the form of a Blue Jays-Phillies game. If any of my loyal readers could point out any history of rivalry beyond what the announcers have already explained (apparently having your team's spring facility located five miles from another team's spring facility makes for some heated tension........right, and Zauny is a first ballet HOF'er) that would be awesome. By virtue of my home state I root for the Phils, as long as they aren't playing the Sox of course. They've had a very "Phillie" season and any Phillie fan knows what I'm talking about. They've turned it around lately, though, which is good for the Phils. If Howard can come back and start hitting, and then Flash Gordon and Ryan Madson come back into the bullpen, they have a pretty complete team. Although they also have the Mets and Braves in front of them. It should be an interesting season in the NL East.
Speaking of interesting, a commercial for the Phillies just played where Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins repeatedly gave each other purple nurples. The receiver of the nurple would then pretend to be electrocuted. There's a lot of questions this raises, but I think the most important of them is what does Charlie Manuel, who is essentially the baseball version of Forrest Gump, think of this? On the list of people who probably shouldn't have a talk show but get one anyway, Charlie Manuel needs to be right at the top.
WOW! Great defensive play to end the game. Bases loaded, two-out, infield playing on the outfield grass Alex Rios hits a slow ground ball to third. Honest Abe Nunez charges the ball nearly colliding with Aaron Hill who is running hard for third and throws the ball to first. Wes Helms has to dive to glove the ball around the runner for a bang-bang play to end the game. This was actually exciting! A Phillies-Jays game being described as exciting. There's an accomplishment and reason number 7 (or 4,207 if your Bud Selig) for keeping interleague. And yeah, I pulled both numbers out of my ass.
As an end to this blog I'd like to give a shout out to Erik Lis, the left handed hitting 2005 9th round selection of the Minnesota Twints. Erik hit a homer off of Roger tonight in Roger's Class A debut. Good job, Erik. Red Sox Nation is proud. Fourty-four year old fat guys with groin problems beware: RSN is coming for you!
-Flig
These words by Jason Giambi. Whoever would have thought the Giambino would turn into the moral compass of the MLB. It is about time that the entire system comes out and says what happened was wrong. I know that not everyone took steroids. I know that it wasn't being handed out by the ownership. And I also know that as a fan I'm complicit in these shenanigans as well. I cheered Mark McGwire when he stepped up to the plate. Two vivid memories stick in my mind involving McGwire's home run chase and subsequent fall from grace.
1. I was watching the game with my parents. Cubbies and Cards and Marky Mark was at 61 homers. Early in the game and despite my valiant protests my mom insisted I take a shower. I told her that she better yell if McGwire comes to the plate. Just as I put the shampoo in my hair I heard a frantic yell, and so I got to watch McGwire's first AB which didn't yield the record breaking home run. I finished my shower and continued watching the game with the folks. I got to see the record breaker sitting on the couch with my dad, clean, by virtue of my mother. Thanks mom.
2. The day of the baseball steroids hearing on Capital Hill I was (conveniently) sick and had to stay home from school. So I sat there and watched what I thought were four heroes (Schilling, Palmeiro, McGwire, and Sosa) and one goat (Canseco) talk about steroids in baseball. Sammy forgot how to speak English (which led to a hilarious skit on SNL that week involving Keenan Thompson), Schilling was his usual political self (the guy's surely gonna run for office some day and I'm just glad he's a Republican so I don't have to find a way to rationalize voting for him other than the bloody sock), Palmeiro was waving fingers, Canseco loved to hear himself speak (which fit well with many of the people facing him behind the nice wooden desk), and then there was McGwire. And Mark refused "to talk about the past." Here's the guy who saved baseball. The guy I watched all summer chasing Slammin' Sammy. The guy was as heroic as a sports figure could be, and it crushed my heart.
The homers of the "steroid years" sucked me in as much as any other, but that doesn't make it right. Giambi is a better man for saying what he said knowing that it could lead to a suspension. Although knowing Giambi I doubt he would have admitted his use if he had indeed used steroids since 05. I'd like to hear more players come out and say the same. I won't hold it against them. As a fan, I'd appreciate their honesty. I'm ok with talking about the past.
But on a lighter side of things...
My Sox were rained out tonight. This means I'm relegated to watching one of the less obvious rivalry interleague matchups in the form of a Blue Jays-Phillies game. If any of my loyal readers could point out any history of rivalry beyond what the announcers have already explained (apparently having your team's spring facility located five miles from another team's spring facility makes for some heated tension........right, and Zauny is a first ballet HOF'er) that would be awesome. By virtue of my home state I root for the Phils, as long as they aren't playing the Sox of course. They've had a very "Phillie" season and any Phillie fan knows what I'm talking about. They've turned it around lately, though, which is good for the Phils. If Howard can come back and start hitting, and then Flash Gordon and Ryan Madson come back into the bullpen, they have a pretty complete team. Although they also have the Mets and Braves in front of them. It should be an interesting season in the NL East.
Speaking of interesting, a commercial for the Phillies just played where Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins repeatedly gave each other purple nurples. The receiver of the nurple would then pretend to be electrocuted. There's a lot of questions this raises, but I think the most important of them is what does Charlie Manuel, who is essentially the baseball version of Forrest Gump, think of this? On the list of people who probably shouldn't have a talk show but get one anyway, Charlie Manuel needs to be right at the top.
WOW! Great defensive play to end the game. Bases loaded, two-out, infield playing on the outfield grass Alex Rios hits a slow ground ball to third. Honest Abe Nunez charges the ball nearly colliding with Aaron Hill who is running hard for third and throws the ball to first. Wes Helms has to dive to glove the ball around the runner for a bang-bang play to end the game. This was actually exciting! A Phillies-Jays game being described as exciting. There's an accomplishment and reason number 7 (or 4,207 if your Bud Selig) for keeping interleague. And yeah, I pulled both numbers out of my ass.
As an end to this blog I'd like to give a shout out to Erik Lis, the left handed hitting 2005 9th round selection of the Minnesota Twints. Erik hit a homer off of Roger tonight in Roger's Class A debut. Good job, Erik. Red Sox Nation is proud. Fourty-four year old fat guys with groin problems beware: RSN is coming for you!
-Flig
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Derek Turnbow: Phillies MVP
While I'm sure Andrew will be the one talking about the Phillies, I couldn't resist this topic. What do you get when you mix a hard luck baseball team with an even harder luck reliever? Some of the most entertaining ends to baseball games. Watching the Phillies play the Brewers is kind of like a Home Alone movie. Everyone just wants to see the bad guys get hit in the head, burned on the hands, and fall on their asses. So I guess that makes the Brew-Crew the bad guys (only because that's how the analogy makes sense; no harsh feelings, guys...in other words I'm hoping Prince Fielder doesn't read this, get angry, and decide to eat me), and Derek Turnbow is that big pipe that comes swinging at Harry and Marv. And yes, that does make the Philadelphia Phillies Macaulay Culkin. I'll leave you fill in your own jokes here.
My team lost tonight, but that doesn't really surprise me. We're playing the second best team in the majors, and the only reason they're second best is that our win yesterday broke the tie we had with them. It's a four game set and I'd put my money on a 50-50 split. Wakefield pitched for us and Verlander pitched for the Tigers. Up to now, Wakefield was leading the bigs in ERA. I'm pretty sure this has absolutely nothing to do with Tim Wakefield and everything to do with the Gods of the Knuckleball. But don't think that I'm knocking Wakefield. He's a stand up guy and anybody who can throw one good knuckler, let alone 100 consecutive good ones is a hell of a pitcher. Even so, I think this is an equation that would need four or five Bill James's to figure out.
Right now I'm watching the highlights from Tim Hudson's near perfect game against the Nats. After Hudson finally walks a Nat, they cut to the one fan who is on his feet clapping like a fool for his team. Coincidently, the man was also the only one in the stadium who was awake. I'm sure he was a little upset that he didn't receive a baseball or jockstrap with a message on it. Perhaps Hudson could have given him a signed copy of the rub-on tatoo he has on his right wrist. What the hell is that thing anyway? At least Zumaya's tats look intimidating with the fire coming out of his hand. Hudson's mark kind of reminds me of a Rorschach Test. First thing that comes to mind? Well if I was Tim Hudson I'm sure it's "boy, these Nats are great for my ERA! Maybe Turnbow should try this..."
Tampa Bay played in Disney World tonight in an effort to make them a "Florida team and not just a Tampa Bay team." It's no wonder this didn't work; old retired Jews still root for the Yankees or Mets no matter where they are.
Well I, and the rest of you loyal readers, need to get to bed. Don't forget to watch ESPN's Wednesday night game when Julian "how-long-til-Lester's-back" Tavarez matches up against Mike Maroth. It should be an excellent chance to see our bullpen in action. Okie dokie!
-Flig
My team lost tonight, but that doesn't really surprise me. We're playing the second best team in the majors, and the only reason they're second best is that our win yesterday broke the tie we had with them. It's a four game set and I'd put my money on a 50-50 split. Wakefield pitched for us and Verlander pitched for the Tigers. Up to now, Wakefield was leading the bigs in ERA. I'm pretty sure this has absolutely nothing to do with Tim Wakefield and everything to do with the Gods of the Knuckleball. But don't think that I'm knocking Wakefield. He's a stand up guy and anybody who can throw one good knuckler, let alone 100 consecutive good ones is a hell of a pitcher. Even so, I think this is an equation that would need four or five Bill James's to figure out.
Right now I'm watching the highlights from Tim Hudson's near perfect game against the Nats. After Hudson finally walks a Nat, they cut to the one fan who is on his feet clapping like a fool for his team. Coincidently, the man was also the only one in the stadium who was awake. I'm sure he was a little upset that he didn't receive a baseball or jockstrap with a message on it. Perhaps Hudson could have given him a signed copy of the rub-on tatoo he has on his right wrist. What the hell is that thing anyway? At least Zumaya's tats look intimidating with the fire coming out of his hand. Hudson's mark kind of reminds me of a Rorschach Test. First thing that comes to mind? Well if I was Tim Hudson I'm sure it's "boy, these Nats are great for my ERA! Maybe Turnbow should try this..."
Tampa Bay played in Disney World tonight in an effort to make them a "Florida team and not just a Tampa Bay team." It's no wonder this didn't work; old retired Jews still root for the Yankees or Mets no matter where they are.
Well I, and the rest of you loyal readers, need to get to bed. Don't forget to watch ESPN's Wednesday night game when Julian "how-long-til-Lester's-back" Tavarez matches up against Mike Maroth. It should be an excellent chance to see our bullpen in action. Okie dokie!
-Flig
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Weekend thoughts
Pat may have the writing, thinking, grammatical, edge here but i have the....
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...
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umm ill come back to that now enjoy the show....
as i ice my elbow from todays nonstop playing of guitar hero here are my thoughts on the phillies weekend series with the cubs
1. Soriano would have made an amazing phillie end of story...
2. Pat Burrell work up from his slumber friday night with two huge home runs, and then went back to sleep on sunday...is that the quickest i have ever seen a player go from curtain call to being boo'ed ....welcome to Philadelphia...
3. Someone sent the Phillies the wrong pink bats because they could not hit crap on sunday
4. Shane Victorino is going to turn out to be a very nice player. He has a cannon and is not afriad to use it. I bet you if we told him osama bin ladin was heading for home he would hit him in towel country. His hitting needs work but the power is there and i think he could be a real 20-25 homer threat once he gets going
5. Where is Jimmy Rollins and who is this non hitting bum that has replaced him
6. We should just put Ryan Howard on the 30 day DL makes sure hes really healthy...healthy enough that he can carry the bullpen in august and September...he will need to at this point.
7. Rosario, Hernandez, Geary, Condrey, Alfonseca, Castro...thats our bullpen...our closer was our opening day starter....lord help us.....
8. Tom Gordon if he can find his curve ball will make an amazing set up man to myers, it will be like him on the yankees all over again
9. Watching Myers Saturday in the non save situation he looked good. He may not have the best stuff but watching his face and him pitch he reminded me a lot of Papelbon...he doesnt look like he wants to take shit from anyone...if he can take kim myers he can take on the world..(oo low blow)...
10. The phillies are about 2 bullpen arms coming together to winning this division. Their starting pitching has been amazing and you know its only a matter of time before howard is back and swinging, however if the bullpen doesnt come together we could see a lot of games like saturday night and thats not good for anyones heart...
until next time Happy mothers day to all and to all a good night
Hi Mr. Fligge
Andrew
...
...
..
umm ill come back to that now enjoy the show....
as i ice my elbow from todays nonstop playing of guitar hero here are my thoughts on the phillies weekend series with the cubs
1. Soriano would have made an amazing phillie end of story...
2. Pat Burrell work up from his slumber friday night with two huge home runs, and then went back to sleep on sunday...is that the quickest i have ever seen a player go from curtain call to being boo'ed ....welcome to Philadelphia...
3. Someone sent the Phillies the wrong pink bats because they could not hit crap on sunday
4. Shane Victorino is going to turn out to be a very nice player. He has a cannon and is not afriad to use it. I bet you if we told him osama bin ladin was heading for home he would hit him in towel country. His hitting needs work but the power is there and i think he could be a real 20-25 homer threat once he gets going
5. Where is Jimmy Rollins and who is this non hitting bum that has replaced him
6. We should just put Ryan Howard on the 30 day DL makes sure hes really healthy...healthy enough that he can carry the bullpen in august and September...he will need to at this point.
7. Rosario, Hernandez, Geary, Condrey, Alfonseca, Castro...thats our bullpen...our closer was our opening day starter....lord help us.....
8. Tom Gordon if he can find his curve ball will make an amazing set up man to myers, it will be like him on the yankees all over again
9. Watching Myers Saturday in the non save situation he looked good. He may not have the best stuff but watching his face and him pitch he reminded me a lot of Papelbon...he doesnt look like he wants to take shit from anyone...if he can take kim myers he can take on the world..(oo low blow)...
10. The phillies are about 2 bullpen arms coming together to winning this division. Their starting pitching has been amazing and you know its only a matter of time before howard is back and swinging, however if the bullpen doesnt come together we could see a lot of games like saturday night and thats not good for anyones heart...
until next time Happy mothers day to all and to all a good night
Hi Mr. Fligge
Andrew
We can win anyway
So I leave my house at 4:30 with an injured Josh Beckett and a four run deficit. I come home and find we've scored 6 runs in the ninth inning to win it and Beckett might not even miss his next start. Can baseball life get better?
This is a message to the Phillies: you guys can score every day of the week, not just one day at a time (an 11 run mark last night). I'm still pretty amazed that they give Geary the ball. You'd think they would have learned by now.
Dusty Baker is now part of the baseball tonight crew. Apparently to gain a position there you have to have gone to the Joe Morgan School of Useless Phrases. I especially loved the end of the show when each broadcaster was asked to say something very quickly and Dusty just kept uttering the names of baseball teams. Senility much? No wonder the Cubbies are going into shock with Pinella. The past few seasons they probably thought they were the A-Team at the Chicago Regional Mental Health Center. Don't get me wrong Dusty seems to be one of the nicest guys to walk the Earth, but he kind of reminds me of one of those dolls that you pull the string and they say something funny.
Speaking of Baseball Tonight, I think John Kruk might be one of the most unintentionally funny individuals on the face of the Earth. Three Kruk stories:
1. During one episode of Baseball Tonight a year or two ago, Kruk was explaining how to pick up the ball as it came out of the pitcher's hand. At the end, one of the other commentators asked him how you pickup a submarine pitcher's delivery, since Kruker had been demonstrating for the typical pitcher's delivery. Kruk replied, "Oh I never could hit those guys." One of the funniest things that isn't on youtube (or so I think).
2. The diet pill commercial where Jon Kruk appears on screen for only about 8 seconds but manages to say "Now my wife doesn't find me so disgusting!"
3. The best for last. I know this one is out there on the internet. It's from an episode of the Best Damn Sports Show Period. A comedian named Jeff Dunham whose act includes ventriloquy was on the show. One of Dunham's "characters" is a wooden puppet named Walter who loves to make fun of people. The doll was ribbing all of the people on the show that night, but then looks at Kruk and says "300 million sperm and that's the one that makes it through." Kruk was visibly angry at a piece of wood! He either forgot or didn't realize that there was a real live human being that had his hand up the puppet's ass. It was great TV.
In a somewhat related story I'm writing this from the sofa of my living room. The Fligge's have finally become wireless. Although my dad still doesn't know how to set the clock on the answering machine.
Happy Mothers Day to all my readers. So yeah, Andrew tell your mom I said Happy Mom's Day.
-Flig
This is a message to the Phillies: you guys can score every day of the week, not just one day at a time (an 11 run mark last night). I'm still pretty amazed that they give Geary the ball. You'd think they would have learned by now.
Dusty Baker is now part of the baseball tonight crew. Apparently to gain a position there you have to have gone to the Joe Morgan School of Useless Phrases. I especially loved the end of the show when each broadcaster was asked to say something very quickly and Dusty just kept uttering the names of baseball teams. Senility much? No wonder the Cubbies are going into shock with Pinella. The past few seasons they probably thought they were the A-Team at the Chicago Regional Mental Health Center. Don't get me wrong Dusty seems to be one of the nicest guys to walk the Earth, but he kind of reminds me of one of those dolls that you pull the string and they say something funny.
Speaking of Baseball Tonight, I think John Kruk might be one of the most unintentionally funny individuals on the face of the Earth. Three Kruk stories:
1. During one episode of Baseball Tonight a year or two ago, Kruk was explaining how to pick up the ball as it came out of the pitcher's hand. At the end, one of the other commentators asked him how you pickup a submarine pitcher's delivery, since Kruker had been demonstrating for the typical pitcher's delivery. Kruk replied, "Oh I never could hit those guys." One of the funniest things that isn't on youtube (or so I think).
2. The diet pill commercial where Jon Kruk appears on screen for only about 8 seconds but manages to say "Now my wife doesn't find me so disgusting!"
3. The best for last. I know this one is out there on the internet. It's from an episode of the Best Damn Sports Show Period. A comedian named Jeff Dunham whose act includes ventriloquy was on the show. One of Dunham's "characters" is a wooden puppet named Walter who loves to make fun of people. The doll was ribbing all of the people on the show that night, but then looks at Kruk and says "300 million sperm and that's the one that makes it through." Kruk was visibly angry at a piece of wood! He either forgot or didn't realize that there was a real live human being that had his hand up the puppet's ass. It was great TV.
In a somewhat related story I'm writing this from the sofa of my living room. The Fligge's have finally become wireless. Although my dad still doesn't know how to set the clock on the answering machine.
Happy Mothers Day to all my readers. So yeah, Andrew tell your mom I said Happy Mom's Day.
-Flig
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Letter to Simmons
So I guess you could say that in our minds, Bill Simmons is a sportswriter's God. Or just a God without even bringing sportswriting into the mix. Just like a dog who tries to please its master only to be ignored, I sent what is surely the first of many duly ignored emails to Simmons. It's about Roger. And it goes like this:
Roger Clemens is back in baseball (again) and his biggest fan is excited to see him. That biggest fan is Roger himself. You and I share a hatred for this man. I mean, all he had to do was mention us, the fans, once when he left but no, Roger showed his true colors. He has one allegiance: his wallet. Is Roger returning to the Yankees for the fans? Is he going back because that's where he won his rings? Of course not. Roger is going back because the Yankees are a bottomless pit of cash and they're allowing him to come and go as he pleases. He doesn't have to be there on his off days. He doesn't even have to be in the same state as the rest of the team as long as he shows up every fifth day to pitch. Some say that he does this because he's a family man. So what does that make every other baseball player without the same luxury? Is it a league filled with dead-beat dads? No, of course it isn't. Because of his stature Roger may be able to secure a contract that allows him to be a better father, but now he's a dead-beat teammate. I can't imagine playing with a guy who decides he's so good that he doesn't have to show up in February, drive across
I hope we dont Greg Zaun this
The following blogs are the byproduct (pros to andrew for using a polysyllabic there...and yeah he's looking that word up right now) of two bored Muhlenberg Scholars (ok, one's a Dana but we won't hold that against him) who are looking for ANYTHING to do besides their work. The following blogs are purely our own opinions. They more than likely do not contain anything even closely resembling a fact and probably won't be coherent anyway. Then again, who is reading this anyway. (thanks dad...for clicking the link i sent you and pretending that you read this far) Thank you, and enjoy the ballgame.
But not you Greg Zaun.
But not you Greg Zaun.
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