PTI, Here I Come

I love baseball. Last night, along with Andrew and his Dad, I made the trek to Citizens Bank Park to see an interleague matchup of the Phillies vs. the Detroit Tigers. This was a great experience and here's a list of why this is so:

1. Roast Pork Sandwich. This has got to be the first thing on my list. When Andrew first asked if I wanted to go to the game the very first thing that popped into my mind was the memory of that oh so delicious roast pork sandwich I had back in Spring Training. This thing is seriously good. I know Philly is famous for the cheese steak and I'm not knocking that hoagie by any means, but my recommendation to you, my loyal readers, is fork over the cash and buy a roast pork sandwich. Your taste buds will thank you later.

2. It was stress free. Just like watching a non-Red Sox game on TV, this was the most stress free, relaxed baseball game I've ever been to. I liken to being a fan of any West Coast baseball team. You follow the team, and you go to the games, but really you just go to hang out. I didn't have to worry about the players, the record, the opposing team. I just got to yell and scream and have a good time.

3. Red Sox Nation is everywhere. Even though I was at a Phillies/Tigers game I was still decked out in Red Sox gear, and I wasn't the only one. The Nation really is so strong that we show up to games we're not even involved in. This brings me to my next reason...

4. Girls. Specifically, the five who sat behind us at the game, one of which was a Red Sox fan. I milked that all night long. Every run scored, even though we were down the whole game, led to a round of high fives. We even got on the big screen (making me 2-5 life time at the big league level, and 1-2 at AA). In hindsight, I should have got some names but oh well. I'll just have to go back again.

5. I got to yell at Gary Sheffield. All night long in any play Sheffield was involved in, I booed, I let him know he sucks, I reminded him that he's on steroids. The line of the night had to come from the guy in front of me. I had asked some of the Detroit fans sitting in our section how they could root for Gary Sheffield. The guy in front of me turns around and goes "maybe they sell steroids." It was great.

It really was an awesome experience, so a big thank you has to go out to the Horrow's for allowing me to have it. Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.

And now down to business...

First of all, Pat Gillick you're retarded. Saying you don't need relievers like J.C. Romero and Joel Pineiro is like saying C.C. Sabathia doesn't need to tilt his cap to the side to look so damn cool. We all see right through you Pat; don't lie.

This brings me to another quick point: the Phillies really are bringing shame to my name. Pat Gillick. Pat Burrell. I share the first name of these guys. On behalf of Pats all around the world, step it up and bring some respect back to noble name!

But anyway, I've been giving a lot of thought to the trade situation I described earlier. One thing I realized is that Red Sox Nation really has to start jumping on the White Sox bandwagon and get that team going. They have the pitching, so if their bats can just wake up they'll easily bury Minnesota to last place (seriously, who really counts the Royals? I think they're just a figment of our collective imaginations) in the AL Central. That'll make it a little easier for the Twins to part with Torii Hunter. As for some other rumors, I understand that the Twins are interested in Mike Lowell, and that we're taking a look at Mark Teixeira. In my mind, and through a combination of deals, this is the outcome I wouldn't mind seeing. We give up major leaguers Coco Crisp and Mike Lowell, high prospect Craig Hansen, mid-level prospects David Murphy, Kasson Gabbard, Devern Hansack, David Pauley (pick three, any three). In return, we get equally unknown mid-level prospects, Torii Hunter, and Mark Teixeira. I really love this deal. Both Hunter and Teixeira are hitting over .300 with 14 and 12 homers, respectively. Granted, our infield defense will suffer a bit, but not by much. Hunter is a gold-glove centerfielder, so there's nothing to worry about as far as that goes. What does this do to our lineup? Well, if Tito can get off the hippie lettuce and show a little consistency, here's a lineup I wouldn't mind seeing:

2B Pedroia
3B Youk
DH Papi
LF Manny
CF Hunter
1B Teixeira
RF Drew
C Tek
SS Lugo

That sounds pretty solid to me. Now, I also heard that we were again interested in Miguel Tejada. As much as I would love to see Miggy in a Red Sox uniform, I never really like inter-division trades. We'd have to involve a third party in this, so maybe it could fit into the Twins/Texas trade or another bullpen deal that I'm sure we'll make.

Then again, none of this will probably come true. But if it does, or at least comes reasonably close, just remember that you read about it right here. I was the first to have this information (and by that I mean pull it right out of my ass), and I think that at least deserves a spot on Around the Horn, if not a Good Five Minutes on PTI.

And last, but not least, the Giants have come to Fenway. If for no other reason, this is why Interleague play is so great. How else would you guarantee a matchup of two clubs like these? It also gives Red Sox fans a chance to boo Barry up close, and pay some respect to the great Dave Roberts. That guy will always have a special place in each and every Red Sox fan's heart. He will never pay for a drink or a meal in New England again.

So anyway, I honestly have no explanation for what Tito is doing with the lineup right now. None whatsover. I'm just not even going to speculate. I'm treating this like you treat one of those really hard concepts in physics. You just accept that it's true and move on in life. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just accept that it's there and move on. It's also kind of like how the Toronto Blue Jays treat Greg Zaun. But the craziest part about this is, for Drew and Pedroia it's working! Drew went 3-4 with three runs and three RBI's and Pedroia (now called Petey by his teammates) went 5-5, two runs, a homer, and five RBI's!! The rest of the team went a collective 1-24, with Coco providing that lone remaining hit. What is going on in the world?!?

So in conclusion, remember to tune your TV's into Fox this afternoon (but not your ears) so we can all watch another Petey and Drew show. Hopefully the rest of the team decides to show up today to support the Mohawk-toting Dice Man as he dismantles the Giants lineup piece by piece. That's how I want it done, Dice Man. No walks, no losing your control or poise, just pitch em like you see em. Except for Bonds, because injecting steroids into the baseball won't help it at all (see also David Bell).